Thursday, January 16, 2014

Spending

Why did I start spending more than I should? Let's address the issues. 

1) My main problem was that ALL family expenses were MY responsibility from rent, electricity, daycare, car payments, food, gas, activities, etc. BUT my husband worked, he was just reserving his income for his own business project which I didn't approve of.. It was a huge source of tension between us and a huge responsibility for me seeing as I was on maternity leave (receiving less income than normal)! 

Thing is that my husband actually would give me money whenever I was short, and this was the time he would help out. So to me, whether I'm ultra careful in my spending or not, all my money was gone. So spending a bit more didn't change anything to me. I was in no more or less debt, didn't save up any more or less either way. But at least I felt like my husband was there for us. 

This was reason 1. 

2) Boredom! I was on maternity leave so I was at home all the time and when I was finished with what I had to do there, I had my whole day, every day to go out and walk around, shop, etc. It became part of the routine! This routine also included beauty blogging and reading those blogs, as we all know, not helpful in cutting spending! Discovering this new passion/interest/hobby at this time helped it explode too. 

3) Stress. The stressful situation with my husband made shopping one of the best things to do! There was no relaxing with him during this period, no soft moments between us... I had a huge quantity of soft, cuddly, loving moments with my children, but I lacked something. Shopping isn't the same as a soft cuddly moment with your life partner, but it was a source of good feelings. 

Now


I've been able to identify these problems lately because right now, things are different. 

For issue 1... Project is cancelled, husband is working normally and contributing his part to the household. I finally feel like being careful with my spending is actually going to help us save money or accomplish other financial goals. We're working together to save money for a vacation in 2014, possibly lasik surgery for us, eventually a down payment for a house. We have projects that we're both on board with financially. The motivation to save is there unlike before.

Issue 2... I'm back to work. Less time to shop even if I wanted to. There's always online shopping though which I can technically do while I work.. And I did at the beginning of my time here, but I've learned to be careful before pressing the final purchase button online, waiting until all parts of me agree (not just the impulsive part but the logical part). In real, once you leave the store after deciding not to purchase, it's a whole other trip to come back and get it, so it's easier to say, "I'll get it anyway!". With online shopping, I don't need to feel like it has to be done now, I have time to think about it, and I use it. 
Also, the newness of my makeup hobby kind of wore off with time and it doesn't kill my boredom as well as it did, when I do happen to be bored.

Issue 3... I'm OK with my husband right now. That's not to say there is no stress overall, but it has lessened because of how huge the relationship between husband and wife is in a person's life! If that is going well, any other problem is easier to deal with from kids to work to hardships of any kind. There's support,  you know? So I think this has helped change the relationship I had with my makeup and products. 

Do any of you have a shopping problem? How do you deal with it? What have been your reasons for over-shopping? 



4 comments:

  1. This is a great post. I have shopping problem and it took me keeping track of our spending to realize how much I was actually shopping and what I was buying. I was literally $500 away from becoming a VIB Rouge, how bad is that? I bought stuff I didn't need in all honestly.

    I have accepted I can't change what I did in the past but I can control right now and since my husband is working at another building I can't always have the car and that has helped with my spending. I am actually alot more frugal and stop to think before buying.

    I think that is the downside to blogging is reading other blogs, watching vlogs and feeling the need to have what they are showing us.

    I know my reasons for over shopping are stress related

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    Replies
    1. Cindy, that's a great perspective. You can change what you do starting now, but not the past, so true!

      I should have added one of my reasons for being better at not over-spending lately. Since Google Reader died, I haven't really been following blogs like before! That has got to help. I don't know what products are in or out as much as before!

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  2. great post candice,.ood to see your blog after a long time.Well I agree with every single word.In fact i was pushed towards blogging because of the same reasons.So whenever I feel like i am spendin alot I turn my trend from beauty to DIYs. TheseThese occupy a lot of time and are really relaxing too.Good to know that you identified the problem and feeling good about life in general.Masha Allah.stay blessed.

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